Relaxing on Vacation (Actually, Imagine That)

Work, work, work. You spend the majority of your life working on one thing or another. Hours and hours of time away from the sanctuary of home, only to deal with the stresses of over-demanding bosses or careers. You navigate the delicate balance of keeping your composure when things go wrong and the backbiting office staff on the lookout for a way up. 

Maybe you hate your job or career, or you can’t stand the people you have to work beside or with. You might just dislike leaving home to do a job that you could just as easily do from home. The reasons and causes of weariness are abundant, and the remedies are lacking, save one. Vacation. 

We all get a vacation each year. Some employers provide paid time off if they care about your well-being, but others do not. We wait all year long for that week-long or more time off and away from our grind. Maybe it’s a dedicated time with your family that you count on, in order to reconnect or just be. Whatever the motivation for the needed departure from the grind, or the duration, we all have that need. 

Dreaming of the location and what you’ll do there, you wait eagerly for your time of ultimate rest. It comes, and you pack up and head out, alone or with your family in tow. You arrive at your destination, and then the work begins. 

Yes, you heard me. Work. 

Vacations these days are more work than rest. We get somewhere and we need to see this or that. We have to go here or there. There’s this tour or that group. You have an itinerary. 

Itinerary. Definition: A list of my do’s, must-go-to’s, must-see's. It’s a structured schedule to optimize travel time, often including specific locations to visit, maps, and contingency plans. Work. Often, it involves taking the kids to some over-expensive themed park, or keeping them occupied in an activity so they don’t get bored and make you nuts, while you rest on your vacation. But here is the thing. You are not resting. At all. 

You are on a schedule; you have to get up and get going. The park or the thing you need to get to opens at this time or that, and you want to beat the crowd. First, you need to get everyone fed. That’s a chore too. Where to eat, who likes one thing over another or not at all. More work. 

Americans, and many others in the world, do not know how to relax. We don’t understand how to stop and do nothing. Programmed by our parents at an early age, we do what we now do; we have adopted the same patterns and behaviors as they did. We have the same habits; we don’t rest. This is what we teach our kids, and they teach theirs. 

When the vacation is finally nearing its end, we can’t wait for it to be over. We can’t wait to go home and back to work, where we can relax into our routines. Does that even make sense? 

It doesn’t, but it is what we do and how we handle our time off. 

There is nothing wrong with taking the kids to Disney, well, except for the exorbitant cost of the tickets, the food, and the lodging. And yes, there is a time and place for that. But every vacation is that way. Busy, busy, busy. 

There is nothing wrong with seeing the sights and learning about another culture. But we overload our days and then go back to our hotels, VRBOs, or B&Bs, exhausted and spent. That, my dear friends, is not vacationing. That is working. It may not be working at your job or career, but it is work none-the-less. 

This is what we teach our young. To pile as much on to a day as you can muster. You might miss something if you don’t. So what? Who cares?

You don’t have to see everything or impress anyone with everything you saw and did on vacation. I believe they program us with this nonsense in grade school. How many times can you remember, at the beginning of the school year, teachers asking, “So, what did you do on your vacation?” How many kids do you recall saying, “Nothing.” “We went here or there and just relaxed.” Zero. That’s how many. 

Relaxation is a needed activity in life. It resets us and makes us human again. Vacation is how we decompress and renew our enthusiasm for daily life and routine. And yet we choose not to relax. Don’t feel bad. I have done the same and been the same. I am right there with all of you. 

I have only recently learned that there are no “have to’s” when on vacation. It should be a time of relaxation. Of doing nothing. 

A couple of years ago, we took a trip to Puerto Rico. We took our son with us as well. My husband and I discussed our vacation desires, and we agreed we wanted to do nothing but relax and be bums. 

We booked our flights and secured our lodging, and took off. There was no itinerary, no tours, no must see’s, must do’s or must go to’s. Novel idea, right? 

We took each day as it came without planning. We spent our time on the beach or in the water of the beachfront condo. When we weren’t in the water, we were on the balcony, staring at the ocean or the people walking on the shoreline. There is nothing more relaxing than listening to the ocean waves roll in and out. 

We went into San Juan, but we had no plan or scheduled appointments. Walking up and down the streets, we found hidden gems. Places to eat that were quiet and out of the way of tourists. We took in one sight: the fort. No tour, no rush to see it all. Then we went back to the condo. 

On one day, the boys went jet skiing, and that was that. We did nothing else. Guess what? We had the best vacation we have ever had. All of us. Our son enjoyed the relaxation just as much as we did. 

Kids get stressed too. Classes, homework, studying, is their work, and it is taxing on them, like your job is on you. Not having to run around all day was what he needed. Just be and breathe. Go with the flow. The funny thing about it is that doing nothing is more fun than the constant running around. Kids are just happy to be with their parents and have their undivided attention. It’s that simple. 

We all came back, and we were, for the first time, refreshed. We had relaxed and were ready for another round of the grueling day to day. 

That is the day we made a choice to make all our vacations like the Puerto Rican vacation. Beach bum style. No plan, no schedule, no obligations. That is relaxing. That is a vacation. For everyone. 

It is surprising; the difference it makes in your demeanor. Going back to work or school refreshed is the best feeling in the world. You should give it a try. You won’t regret it. 

This vacation, we are in Colorado. Our son lives here. We used to live here and have always loved Colorado, but it is a different experience when you don’t have to work here. We have done nothing more than relax and drive around the majestic mountains. It is awe-inspiring just to look at the mountain range. Driving in the mountains is free, and the sights you see in nature are priceless. 

We are here for a few more days. We plan on not planning anything. And then we will return home, renewed. That is a vacation. To us, at least, it is. I hope you try it. I hope all of your vacations are truly relaxing. Take a break from your work and working. Really go on vacation. You will not regret a moment. 

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